Is your Girlfriend Really a True Friend?

Is your Girlfriend Really a True Friend?

Remember the song “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”?  … (Randy Newman, Toy Story)

“You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me.

You’ve got troubles, and I’ve got ‘em too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together and we see it through, ‘cause you’ve got a friend in me. You’ve got a friend in me.”

As women, this should be our priority. To find that one special friend who will be there for us through the good and bad; to have that one person who understands us and knows when we need them to just listen or give us a reassuring, comforting hug. And in return, we do the same for them. A true friend is not only honest about themselves, but they can also be honest about and with you. In other words, a true friend will never be insincere or disingenuous with you.

Reflect back through the years, all the way to grammar school and beyond. We can all remember someone who touched our lives and hearts, and we also remember the so-called “mean girls” who thought they were better than you, prettier than you, skinnier than you, smarter than you and on and on. But as we grow older, we realize that there are some people we can truly relate to. There are those special women who believe in you, and they root for you in success, and they cry with you in failure.

These are the women who will tell you if you have lip stick on your teeth or toilet paper on your shoe. They are the women who will fix your crown, and they will not tell the world that your crown was crooked. They are the epitome of discretion and grace. These are the ladies who do not gossip behind your back, and they will defend you to others who are talking about you. Remember rule number one … if your “friend” is gossiping to you about other women, then you can be sure that she is also talking about you behind your back. This woman is NOT a true girlfriend!

True friends accept one another faults and all. And if you are lucky enough to have found that one special person who has stuck by you through thick and thin for twenty or thirty or fifty years, you are truly blessed. These are the people who will listen to you without criticism, and they know when to be quiet and when to give advice. These are not toxic people! They are genuine and loving.

Now, ask yourself if you are or have been the toxic person in your relationships? If so, you need to work on yourself, your attitude, and you may need to find a new group of friends in order to have a positive impact on your family, yourself and those around you. In other words, DETOX yourself! Learn how to find sincere friends. Learn how to be a sincere friend. Remember, a true friend accepts you and values what makes you unique. And because you are not a fair-weather friend, in turn, you will also be there for the down times, the good times, the health crises and everything in between.

Ask yourself now what type of girlfriend do you want to have and what type of friend do you want to be? As you grow and evolve, you will discover your better self and identify with others more. You will find people who inspire you, lift you up, talk truth to you when you need it, and give you comfort in the hard times. No friend is perfect, but a true friend cares about you and respects your moods, emotions and thoughts. And in turn, you do the same for them.

It’s not clear why some people connect and others do not. And making tried and true friends seems to become more difficult as we grow older. But if you are lucky enough to find that special person who truly communicates with you and touches your heart, hang on to that relationship. This is the person who will deal with conflicts and problems and they will be clear-cut and direct with you. They will see your heart and you will see theirs. This is the one true friend that distance and time will never affect how you feel or connect with one another. This is the one person with whom you can have a rewarding and timeless relationship. This is a true and faithful girlfriend. And as women, we need true girlfriends, for today and for all the tomorrows to come.

So, who is your genuine girlfriend? To find out more about being a true girlfriend or learning how to nurture a friendship, listen to Warrior DIVAS, Episode 3 available Online at

Beatitudes | Day 8

Beatitudes | Day 8

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9

Growing up in a home with a dad who was a police officer this was one of the verses I heard often. It wasn’t until later in life that I understood that my dad had to go into some very dark places and sometimes look evil directly in the face. Being a peacemaker is not always about being calm and docile it is about using all means necessary to bring the situation under control. They do not go in looking for a fight but they are equipped not to back down from one either. 

This also reminds me of our military troops who are sent overseas. They may have a mission to eradicate terrorism in a region, but their overall mission is to bring peace to that region. 

Too many times, I think people see this verse as being a people pleaser verse, and I don’t believe that is what it is saying at all. I believe it is telling us to seek peace and justice in all situations. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this verse. 

Daily DIVAS Challenge: 

  1. What ways do you bring about peace?
  2. What are some other examples of a Peacemaker that you can think of?
  3. Where would you like to see more peace? 
Beatitudes | Day 7

Beatitudes | Day 7

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

When you hear pure in heart, I bet you have a few things that come to mind. Maybe it is someone you see that does amazing things for their neighbors, someone like Mother Teresa. Maybe you think of children with all of their innocence. 

What would it be like to think of the phrase pure of heart and see your face come to mind? Being pure of heart is not for everyone else and something that you strive for. When Jesus was talking about this, he is encouraging you to let you know the type of followers He is looking for. 

So how do we become pure of heart? 

First off by not holding offenses, or better yet living a life where you are unoffended. I know, I know, it is hard today when so many things are thrown your way that you just don’t agree with. But let’s think about it, don’t you think Jesus was faced with things daily that went against the things he agreed with? People were always asking him questions trying to second guess his knowledge and belief system, yet with each answer he remained calm and spoke plainly. 

There are many things that pollute our hearts today, whether it be on the TV, radio, social media, or just driving down the road and some of the billboards. The way we stay pure, is by being mindful of what we allow into our hearts when we encounter these things. Being pure of heart is about asking God to come in and flood your heart with His glory, building up your immunity to the toxic vibes we encounter each day. 

Daily DIVAS Challenge: 

  1. Are you living a life pure of heart? 
  2. What are some things you do to purify your heart?
  3. What areas do you struggle with living a life with a pure heart? 
Beatitudes | Day 6

Beatitudes | Day 6

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

I remember back several years ago we were attending a small church and like many churches they asked us to take a spiritual gifts assessment. It was no surprise that my assessment showed that I had strong Pastoral, and Exhortation giftings followed closely by and administration gifting. I was satisfied with my assessment because it seemed true to who I was and wanted to be. 

However, when the pastor comes over to you and says, “I was looking over your assessment and I am concerned…..” you start to get nervous, like sitting outside the principal’s office nervous. He then went on to explain that my mercy gifting was the lowest he had ever seen. He just couldn’t see how my pastoral side and my low score in the mercy category would walk hand in hand. He really offered no insight, he was perplexed but I was not bothered by it, or so I thought. 

If I am honest I still struggle with this because there are times, I would like to be the person who helps and takes care of people. I would like to sit with friends who go through their treatments, and hold their hands and be there for them. Yet every time I think I can do it, I get physically ill myself. I also know that my face says all the emotions I feel so it is hard to sit in a room and hide my emotions and put on a brave face for a friend who is struggling. With all that said, it does not decrease, my concern, my empathy, or my desire to be a helpmate to them during this time. My Mercy gifting plays out in other ways. It is reaching out and letting people know I care, it is a note card sent, a text message, taking care of a tangible need for the family. Sometimes it is just stepping back and praying while respecting a friends privacy. 

I would like to say all of these are the right ways, but I am still figuring this out. I am not sure why I still struggle with this, but I am constantly looking for ways to grow personally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The fact that I am still asking the questions means, that I am still looking for the answers. I would love to hear your thoughts on being merciful and what it means to you. 

Daily DIVAS Challenge: 

  1. What does being merciful mean to you? 
  2. How do you show Mercy? 
  3. What ways have you been shown mercy? 
Are You on the Right Journey?

Are You on the Right Journey?

As women, we understand that life often gets messy and hectic. You know that saying, “Stuff happens!” Stuff happens at your job, stuff happens at home, at school, well everywhere to be honest. Life can get cluttered up with all the peripheral things that distract us from discovering our true purpose. Life takes us down so many paths, that we often lose sight of the journey we should be on.

For the most part, we all long for a rewarding and happy life. However, in today’s world of IPhones, IPads, TV’s and computers, we often idolize the “lifestyles of the rich and famous,” forgetting that those lifestyles are more than likely unattainable. We often think that material things, expensive clothes, big houses, cars and money will make us happy. We all know women who act superior because of their lifestyles, but if you scrap back the layers, you discover that they are self-centered, selfish, and that they really aren’t happy. In point of fact, they are bored, dissatisfied, and they find no real joy in their lives.

Since most women want to be happy and successful, they want a peaceful home life, a rewarding career and a full social life, it’s important to ask the right questions of ourselves. What inspires you? What do you expect of yourself? What are you destined to do? And do you hold yourself accountable for your own inner-peace or do you blame others for the discontent in your life?

As we travel down the road of life, it is very easy to get bogged down in a rut and we lose touch with our inner selves. We become too comfortable with nagging our husband, with our jobs, our kids, the dishes, and the laundry. We want to please everybody and in reality, we aren’t pleasing anybody, least of all, ourselves. We have forgotten to honor ourselves. We have lost sight of our own journey. We have forgotten how to sit still, take a break and indulge our inner selves.

In short, we have lost our passion along with our inspiration. Now would be a good time to take the road less traveled and figure out the triggers that cause us to react in anger. We desperately need to relinquish our guilt over our own flaws and take responsibility for this life that we are not fully satisfied with. Surround yourself with women who are confident and empowering. Find women who are true friends to encourage you and hold you accountable when you stray from the destiny you are meant for.

In order to truly build strong relationships with other women, we must first build a meaningful relationship with ourselves. Dig deep and figure out where you want to go. Ask for help. Bring light into the dark place that holds you back. Ask yourself what you really want to do? Do you want to write? Do you want to volunteer? Do you want your own business? Maybe you just want to be the best wife and mother you can be. Whatever you desire, accept what you have been and then step forward toward what you want to be.

We need to believe that we matter! We need that sisterhood to guide us along our journey and give us permission to thrive. We need those strong women who will unselfishly put us on the path to wellness. And the stronger you become, the easier it becomes for you to pioneer a trail for other women to follow. Living your best life means focusing on others, knowing where you are going, what you are destined for, and begin planting the seeds of love where you cannot see it.

To discover more about how to begin your journey  and become a victorious person, tune in to the Warrior DIVAS Podcast, Episode 6 Online at