Are You Living Your Best Life?

“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” ~ Paulo Coelho

As women, too often we don’t feel that we are worthy enough to have extraordinary things happen to us. We don’t seek the treasures of life and we turn a blind eye to all the amazing things that are laid out before us. Instead, we choose to wallow in self-pity and focus on all of the tragedies and obstacles that have crossed our paths.

Some of you develop destructive attitudes and begin to feel that nothing in life has worth. In short, you have reached a dead-end road, and you are not going to achieve that which you are actually purposed for. This is the victim mindset and if left to grow and fester, it will invade your soul, kill your faith and prevent you from living a life packed with true meaning and happiness.

Many of you may have experienced extreme traumas. Some of you may have been abused physically by someone you trusted. Perhaps you were attacked or robbed by somebody you didn’t know. Perhaps you were verbally abused and chose to believe the words that were spoken to you. We’ve all known that person who has chosen to be a victim over and over by telling anyone who will listen what happened to them. These people either blame themselves or everyone else for their lot in life.

Some women become dependent upon being a victim because they can continue to complain and whine.  They take no responsibility for anything … You’ve heard it all haven’t you? I’m too fat! Nobody likes me! My husband left me! And they like the attention they get, and they relish the idea that someone feels sorry for them. But in truth, we can all exchange our victim mindsets for a frame of mind that allows us to move forward through life with a positive attitude.

It’s up to each one of us to decide to either become a survivor or remain a victim. And it’s hard to peel back the layers of that onion and open up our hearts again. Consider counseling and heal your soul. Return to your faith and accept help and friendship from those strong women around you. Stop squandering your time claiming that life isn’t fair or hoping that things will change. Only you have the power to make that happen. You can make a choice today to see life as something worth living and face your problems head on. Self-pity gets us nowhere.

There is an old saying that says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  You can make a choice to cast out your anger, stop seeking revenge and above all, learn how to forgive yourself. As women, we should challenge one another to become the very best version of our former selves. Understand that we don’t always have control over the things or circumstances that affect our lives, and that we don’t have to let the mistakes and road blocks control who we become.

Understand that at one point in time, we all have made the choice to play the victim, and we have also chosen to accept the circumstances, put on our big girl pants and move forward in positivity. We are in charge of our own futures. Once you make the decision to change your life, you will plant new hope in your heart, allowing rebuff and anguish to vanish from your life.

We need to remember that God put us on this earth, because He knew we were resilient enough to live in it. He doesn’t want us to be walking and living in regret and trepidation. He wants us to get back up when we have been pushed down by life circumstances. You have control, and only you can decide how you respond to distress, life’s problems and unfair situations. Learn how to encourage yourself and others around you. Remember that those women who are around you may be looking to you to accomplish more and to lift them up as well.

We are all destined for bigger and better things. Surround yourselves with positive people, positive things, positive words and FAITH. Make a conscious decision to bring about a mighty revolution in your life and the lives of those around you. Choose to be a leader! Choose to nurture your spirit and the spirit of those women who look to you for guidance. In return, they will nurture you and make you stronger and more confident.

To learn more about how to remove yourself from the role of victim, listen to the Diva’s podcast episode 4 titled “Choose Your Hard” available Online at You too can become a Diva and discover your own treasures.