After talking with several friends I find it interesting how many of us said the phrase at some point of “When I’m a mom I am never gonnna….” Yet time and time again I open my mouth and words my mother once uttered to me fall out. Now as the mom of grown children I gain just a tiny bit of joy watching my children have my words fall out of their mouth and watch the look on their faces when they realize it.
Here are a few for giggles:
You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit
Look where you’re going, not where you have been.
You can get mad in the same pants you got glad in
Hands in your pockets or where your pockets should be. (had to add that last part because they got smart and said their shorts didn’t have pockets)
Slow down breathe then try telling me again
Think about it, I normally don’t ask a question I don’t already know the answer too.
Here is the deal, some of the things my mom said or did, the good and the bad (cause let’s face it we all have bad days) showed up in what I said or did with my children. However, I had a choice as to whether or not I was going to carry the things from the past into the future. I had to be mindful of my legacy. My mom is great, and so was hers yet each generation has taken what we have learned from the previous generation to be better for the next.
Sadly, I have many friends who had horrible mom’s, but they still share the same responsibility. The responsibility to learn from their past, to grow in the present and leave an impactful legacy.
One of the things I have learned in my time here on earth is some of the things I absolutely hated hearing were the exact thing I needed to hear to be a better person.
Yesterday, when I heard a young girl say to her mother “When I’m a mom I am never gonna…..” All I could do was giggle and think to myself that yes sweetheart you probably are, that is ok, and you will be better for it.
Today I am sharing a few lessons I have learned from my mom. While this list is not complete it is a good reminder that there are lessons for us all to learn even when we might turn a blind eye or deaf ear to it. So I hope this helps you see some of the lessons you have learned and you would be willing to share them with us.
Lesson 1 – Self Realization sets you free I will admit I was not an easy child in my youth, a friend asked me my Sr year (age 18) if I could go out with her one weekend, I told her “I can’t I’m grounded” to which she replied “grounded I haven’t been grounded since I was 13” I quipped back…. “Funny, I have been grounded since I was 13” my mom overheard this conversation and while still giggling did permit me to go out that weekend. –
Lesson 2 – You can still find joy when you’re stuck in a rut When I was learning to drive a stick shift my mom had a 1971 Triumph Spitfire she took me to a neighborhood just south of us to teach me how to drive it. We lived on a big hill and she knew to start on a hill would need to be the final lesson, little did she know how true that would be. At one intersection of this neighborhood, was a stop sign that had a huge dip, not depthwise but huge in width, and the incline was just enough to cause a challenge. After what seemed like hours of trying to get out of this dip, and lots of loud laughter from my mom (did I mention it was a convertible and the top was down) then eventually laughter by me even though I was mortified that any of the “cute” boys I went to school with would come out and see this catastrophe.
Lesson 3 – You can still be rich despite your circumstances Several years ago my sister asked my parents why we didn’t have any of those good meals like we used to. My dad asked what she was talking about. She replied “You know the ones with fried Spam, Cheese, Crackers and y’all had onion and tomato” (she didn’t eat veggies, pretty much still doesn’t) My dad’s response was “Because we don’t have to!” What we didn’t realize back then was that Spam back in the day was cheap, the cheese we had was government cheese, crackers were cheap, and the onions and tomatoes we ate came from the garden in our backyard. My mom was stretching the family budget to keep us fed and we never knew we were poor.
Lesson 4 – You never know how strong you are until you are tested to the limits Over the last few years, we have gained insight through personal development that helps me to have a better picture of our conflict over the years. I am someone who adapts and responds quickly but my mom is one who likes to take a little longer to process. When we embrace the uniqueness of each other we work together well, but it took a lot of years of our personalities battling each other. Even in that friction, it created resilience in me. When I went to boot camp my mom and I left things in a rough place. As a mom of adult children, I now understand some of what she was feeling. Wondering if you have prepared them well for the world they are about to face. I remember getting on the bus after boot camp and my company commander asking me “So, what did you think Davis? (Maiden name)” I quickly responded, “You ain’t got nothin’ on my mama!”
Lesson 5 – You Can’t outrun God or the prayers of a faithful MOM My husband and I were going through a particularly rough patch there seemed to be one thing after another after another coming against us. I was sitting on the shoreline at the lake with my mom, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, I am so sorry Angie. I have been praying the prayer “Lord whatever it takes and I hate seeing you go through all of this.” My response was probably the bigger answer to her prayer when I said: “Why are you apologizing for God answering your prayers?”