Is your Girlfriend Really a True Friend?

Remember the song “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”?  … (Randy Newman, Toy Story)

“You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me.

You’ve got troubles, and I’ve got ‘em too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together and we see it through, ‘cause you’ve got a friend in me. You’ve got a friend in me.”

As women, this should be our priority. To find that one special friend who will be there for us through the good and bad; to have that one person who understands us and knows when we need them to just listen or give us a reassuring, comforting hug. And in return, we do the same for them. A true friend is not only honest about themselves, but they can also be honest about and with you. In other words, a true friend will never be insincere or disingenuous with you.

Reflect back through the years, all the way to grammar school and beyond. We can all remember someone who touched our lives and hearts, and we also remember the so-called “mean girls” who thought they were better than you, prettier than you, skinnier than you, smarter than you and on and on. But as we grow older, we realize that there are some people we can truly relate to. There are those special women who believe in you, and they root for you in success, and they cry with you in failure.

These are the women who will tell you if you have lip stick on your teeth or toilet paper on your shoe. They are the women who will fix your crown, and they will not tell the world that your crown was crooked. They are the epitome of discretion and grace. These are the ladies who do not gossip behind your back, and they will defend you to others who are talking about you. Remember rule number one … if your “friend” is gossiping to you about other women, then you can be sure that she is also talking about you behind your back. This woman is NOT a true girlfriend!

True friends accept one another faults and all. And if you are lucky enough to have found that one special person who has stuck by you through thick and thin for twenty or thirty or fifty years, you are truly blessed. These are the people who will listen to you without criticism, and they know when to be quiet and when to give advice. These are not toxic people! They are genuine and loving.

Now, ask yourself if you are or have been the toxic person in your relationships? If so, you need to work on yourself, your attitude, and you may need to find a new group of friends in order to have a positive impact on your family, yourself and those around you. In other words, DETOX yourself! Learn how to find sincere friends. Learn how to be a sincere friend. Remember, a true friend accepts you and values what makes you unique. And because you are not a fair-weather friend, in turn, you will also be there for the down times, the good times, the health crises and everything in between.

Ask yourself now what type of girlfriend do you want to have and what type of friend do you want to be? As you grow and evolve, you will discover your better self and identify with others more. You will find people who inspire you, lift you up, talk truth to you when you need it, and give you comfort in the hard times. No friend is perfect, but a true friend cares about you and respects your moods, emotions and thoughts. And in turn, you do the same for them.

It’s not clear why some people connect and others do not. And making tried and true friends seems to become more difficult as we grow older. But if you are lucky enough to find that special person who truly communicates with you and touches your heart, hang on to that relationship. This is the person who will deal with conflicts and problems and they will be clear-cut and direct with you. They will see your heart and you will see theirs. This is the one true friend that distance and time will never affect how you feel or connect with one another. This is the one person with whom you can have a rewarding and timeless relationship. This is a true and faithful girlfriend. And as women, we need true girlfriends, for today and for all the tomorrows to come.

So, who is your genuine girlfriend? To find out more about being a true girlfriend or learning how to nurture a friendship, listen to Warrior DIVAS, Episode 3 available Online at