To have a Friend, You must be a Friend

As women, we are often our own worst enemies. There are hundreds of unbending tasks we are obliged to do each and every day that impact us in ways we don’t even realize. As multi-taskers, we wear many hats … some we love and others we do because we must. Many of you can relate as you go about your daily routines. You are wives, mothers, daughters, grandmas, business owners, employees, bosses, teachers and stay-at-home moms.

Whatever your lot in life, through all of the ups and downs, as women the one thing we forget to find time for is ourselves and building relationships with other women. We are busy with all the mundane parts of life that remove us from true friendships and often divert us from our personal walk with God. In truth, we let past experiences and missteps in life control how we move forward or remain stuck in shame and rejection.

So many women have suffered unspeakable abuses that keep them from truly finding their best selves. In shame and rejection, they feel insignificant, bitter and cannot find their way to a point of victory to share their story. We forget in times of rejection and loneliness that our Father promised to not ever desert or abandon us. John 6:37 says, “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.”  Remember that our Lord and Savior was also rejected and despised by people, but He never allowed his faith in our Father to falter.

Ladies, if you have ever felt alone, rejected and disconnected from other women, you are not alone. Most of us have a story that we have not been willing to share. But there can be a cathartic moment when someone shares their story with you, and you realize that you do not have to remain disconnected and that you can climb out of the depths of despair and become a friend to someone you never thought would be there for you.

Very often, we fail to recognize that the one thing we have been missing is friendship. And sometimes, we don’t recognize that one special person who is standing right in front of us. As women, we don’t always defend each other and we are often too critical … They have too many personalities; too much perfume; too many kid stories; too many candles and baking smells! And they gossip too much!  But miraculously, there is that one special person that you might not have liked at first, but suddenly she has become your confidant and you have lunch together, you start seeing one another after work, your husbands meet and like one another, and you have started building a relationship together. You have become friends!

And as friends, you have loved one another, challenged each other, supported one another and been there in happy times and sad times. You have learned so much from this friend because she connected with you, taught you, and made you question what your impact on the world is going to be. And has she has taught you, so have you taught her. You both have learned to be REAL with one another.

As women, we must be willing to be open and crystal clear in order to obtain the relationship (friendship) that we didn’t even know we wanted or needed. Open your hearts to exploring the great prospect of finding that special person who can challenge you, push you, laugh with you, cry with you and just be there when you need to talk. And, in return you will do the same for them.

So to have a friend, you must be a friend. You must walk with Christ as the disciples did and become friends and followers of our Master. Despite the failures and disappointments that have crossed your path in life, if you open your heart to friendship and to our living Christ, you too can become more confident and inspired in your life.

You can make an impact on those around you. Remember that no amount of financial or material things can ever take the place of our Lord’s love or our true friends who love us. These simple things … love, honor, friendship, patience and devotion to our Heavenly Father are the greatest gifts we can give to those around us. And first and foremost, love yourself, forgive yourself, and lift yourself up in the glory of God. He is always there for us, even when we don’t think so. Even when we want to blame Him for forsaking us. Our Father never forsakes us! He is always here and He wants us to carry the joy of Christ into the lives of others.

For more great content, we invite you to listen to the Warrior DIVAS podcast, episode 1, titled “Wasn’t Always A DIVA” available Online at